Separating with your partner? Ways to take care of your mental health


Breakup is a difficult phase for anyone irrespective of whether you are going through it for the first time or not. The end of a relationship could wreak havoc on one’s mental health as dealing with difficult emotions, coming to terms with them, and finally accepting that moving on is the only way forward is not easy. Experts say it’s okay to wallow in all the sad, hurt, difficult emotions for a while and let it all out rather than distracting yourself with work and other things that make dealing with suppressed emotions even more difficult later. (Also read: Signs of an emotionally dependent partner; tips to deal with them)

“Every relationship between a couple starts with a hope for a beautiful future, the initial days are filled with love and happiness but sometimes the forever we envisioned is short lived. Separating from your partner thus becomes an emotionally draining experience – regardless if it was mutual or due to someone’s fault. However, if you don’t effectively manage the stress and unpleasant feelings associated with your separation, the results could gradually have a more profound impact on you,” says Arouba Kabir, Mental Health counselor & Founder, Enso Wellness.

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS

It is important to let out your emotions and this is the time when a trusted friend can help you with your emotional health distinguishing between is toxic and healthy ways of coping with a breakup.

“Separation takes a toll on a person’s emotional health, making it extremely important that all the emotions are expressed instead of getting bottled up. You can try journalling, seeking support from friends and family, joining a support group or talking to a therapist,” says Kabir.

DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY

“Engage yourself with things which would relax and sooth you. Embrace this time and pick up some hobby or meet people who make your heart happy. Such little things shall help you stay afloat and build you lost confidence and trust,” says Kabir.

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO GRIEVE

Your emotions aren’t under your control, it’s okay to feel good one day and cry the next. There is no timeline for stopping to feel bad. Don’t hide your emotions and feel them, process them and let them go, says Kabir.

LET GO OF THE NEGATIVE STUFF

“If you and your partner separated due to a chaos or a situation which is beyond your control, grieve it but try ringing yourself to the present moments instead. There must have been things which helped you grow as well. Focus on them. Use them now to protect and heal yourself. Understand that you can’t go back in time and change things. But you can use your past experience to have a better future,” says the counsellor.

DON’T JUMP TO THE NEXT STEP

You shouldn’t make any decisions or changes to your life when you’re under a lot of stress before you’ve considered all the ramifications. While going through a separation we often make ‘rebound’ decisions which often hurt us even more in the long run.

CHILDHOOD ISSUES

Maybe you have had hard time in letting go of the things before as well. Working on inner child with a profession shall help too.

“Separation is difficult, no doubt – but it isn’t the end of the world. You need to let go of things beyond your control, heal and be open to the beautiful world ahead of you,” concludes Arouba Kabir.

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