“Sometimes I feel I am not a good mother”: What is bad mother syndrome, how to overcome it


“First of all, being a mother is deeply depersonalizing. When you meet people, even other moms, they ask your child’s name but not yours. You, weirdly, cease to matter as a human being. You exist, but you don’t count other than as a shadow to your child,” says Betsy Devlin, a Quora user.

“Despite everything in society being geared towards women becoming mothers, and everyone saying that being a mother is the most important job in the world, as a mother you really do not matter as a person, as yourself. It’s the biggest con affecting women in our society. No one cares if you are OK, if your life is devoid of fun or pleasure of any kind or if you are struggling: you should be completely fulfilled by motherhood alone. If you are not, something is wrong with you, and you do not deserve any sympathy. End of story,” the user adds.

“Your life becomes an endless stream of anxiety and tension as you try to keep your kid alive, badgered on all sides by people who judge and check on you, without helping,” Betsy also adds.